I think that I mis-interpreted the tone of Benji’s letter last week. To me he sounded stressed out and frazzled but to him, I think he was expressing renewed determination. I tried to write of encouragement this week and he let me know he is fine and growing through his experiences every day. Here is what he said:
There are not times when I have not put forth my all. I am always trying my best. My best hasn't always been perfect. I'm glad for this service. The thing is that I have changed so much. I treat people differently. I invite better. I am always very happy with the people. Could I be better? yes. The stress is something that gets me to do things better. If I don't have stress, I can't improve. It's something that I think has really helped me this week. As I think about how to get better and I work my hardest and think and pray-That's when the inspiration comes. That's when I know what God wants of me. When I walk until I crawl and I just keep going-spiritually and sometimes physically-that's when the grace comes. That's when the miracles happen. I think that sometimes that's why more miracles happen “in the last 30 minutes”, when I’m about used up. It's always after we've given our all. I stress-but I'm happy. I think about what I can do better so that I can be better. Does knowing that I need to change something bring stress? Yes. Repentance-although it may be repentance of a sin that I didn't know about before- is always painful-but always brings more happiness.
About the thoughts of what I should have accomplished-you're right. I shouldn't ever think those thoughts. If I'm putting my all-that's enough. I just always like to get better.
Sorry that I don't have much time to talk about my week. It was good-We found new investigators. Don't worry about me. I'm doing fine.
Ps. The picture is of the family that the sister brought to baptism this week!