This week has been a little harder than most. Last transfer was
hard because of the companion, and this one is a little hard for the work. I
think this week has put me on my knees more than ever. We had very little
visible results from this week. The constant image that was in my mind was that
I was Atlas, and that I was trying to lift the world. Frustration: When you try
to do things that aren't in your hands. Oh well. I just finished a fast.
President told us that we should all fast and think about what it is that we
still need to change in ourselves to be better. He told us to then study the
attributes of Christ and ask ourselves the question that the rich young man
asked Christ. What are the "possessions" I need to sell? What are the
things that I need to change? What are the attitudes, teaching styles,
disobedience, etc. that are holding me back from fully experiencing the spirit?
So. I started my fast. This last week has been very humbling and this next week
will be even more humbling. I've gone from thinking that I've always been a
good leader to realizing that I have so much to learn. It seems like every
decision I make needs a higher level of understanding that I still haven't
gotten to.
We had a small handful of lessons this week. Lessons
to members included. No one had time. We walked and walked and walked. We've
prayed and prayed and prayed. One night we didn't know what to do-plans A,B,
and C had fallen through, and so we went to a corner and prayed. We agreed to
go in one direction. We then paused. I went down another road, and my companion
said that we should talk to the people that lived in a green house there. I was
feeling the same thing. We talked to them, the man responding from behind his
door, and told him that we were looking for someone nearby. My companion said
it was a woman. They asked for her name. We, only following revelation said
that we didn't know. My companion said "her last name is Martinez."
The man paused and said "We're the Martinez family." He then asked
for her first name, but we didn't know. They were probably too scared to open
the door, said goodbye. We returned the next day, and they said that they were
Catholics and would not receive us.
What's the point of the story? Well. Obviously people
have their free will. The point of that experience was that God taught two
missionaries that they could listen to and receive revelation in any moment.
Although that family did not accept the message, God lead us straight to them
and taught us their name. What a marvelous experience! As Joseph Smith says in
Joseph Smith history-that he had received one vision and that he could expect
to receive another- so we, as representatives of Jesus Christ can receive and
follow divine direction again and again. We just have to be ready to receive.
Hopefully as I "sell my possessions" (rid myself of qualities
Heavenly Father doesn’t want me to have) I can be even more receptive of the
Spirit of the Lord.
Anyway. I know this week will be better. We found an
investigator this week that might go a bit slow, but we think she'll get
baptized. She is really nice. Her name is Manuela and she works for a member in
our ward. :D We've been praying hard. The miracles have begun, and they won't
stop.
Well, I love you guys. We climbed the hill that's in
our area today and took some pictures :D
Love,
Elder Dazey
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